What do parents need in the midst of juggling insane amounts of work while frantically trying to home-school their kids during the coronavirus lockdown?

Nope, it’s not a monthlong vacation to the Seychelles or a bullet to the head.

The answer is a so-called “virtual sitter” — a stranger who will “watch” your ankle-biters over Skype, Zoom, Google Hangouts and the like for around $20 an hour.

Online company Sittercity has come up with the too-good-to-be-true idea of offering nannies and baby sitters to remotely care for children using laptops, iPads and phones.

The service will keep younger kids engaged using “games like Simon Says, I-Spy, online chess or checkers and 20 Questions,” a Sittercity spokesperson tells The Post. And for older kids, “sitters might be focused on providing companionship rather than keeping them distracted.”

It’s supposed to free up time for anything from conference calls to doing the dishes or, suggests Sittercity, connecting with your “spouse without interruption.”

Well, I call bulls - - t.

Just like you can’t have a virtual plumber, a virtual cleaner or a virtual masseuse barking orders at you to rub your back against the wall like a bear against a tree, the concept is fatally flawed.

Truth is that most kids are living, breathing demons who would laugh in the face of a virtual sitter. If I stumped up $20 for a supposed one-hour respite, my sixth and third-grader would see it as the perfect excuse to punch each other, eat my stash of bonbons and torture the cats.

No matter how many times Big Brother Super Nanny instructed them to quietly play checkers or do art projects, they’d be swinging from the light fittings or slashing the carpet with a knife.

And it’s hard to see how the sitter would persuade them to exercise, other than telling them to open the door and go play in traffic.

Then again, the idea of the virtual sitter could be the ideal solution — if your kid’s on drugs.

It’s a stretch, but I can perhaps see the initiative working on toddlers dosed up on Benadryl who can sit, stupefied, in front of their screen while a Mary Poppins impersonator sings “Feed the Birds.”

In their defense, Sittercity says the service isn’t designed to be used for more than an hour — “which can be effective several times per day, if needed” and is ideal for “kids who are able to engage and maintain a conversation via video without distraction,” the spokesperson says.

But in that case, perhaps frazzled moms and dads should forget Sittercity’s “helpful” solution and invest in a subscription to Disney+. Who really cares if your little darlings watch “Frozen 2” or “Bunk’d” a gazillion times when they should be on Google Classrooms learning math?

To be honest, that’s what’s happening at my place already. No remote sitter is ever going to change the brutal reality that parents are fast losing the plot.

Personally, I’d be better off putting that $20 an hour toward therapy. All done virtually, of course.

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