On the June 3 episode of ‘KUWTK,’ Kim Kardashian gave some rare insight into what led to her pulling the plug on her marriage to Kanye West.

Kim Kardashian finally addressed her marital issues on this week’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians. The episode was filmed during the KarJenner family’s trip to Lake Tahoe at the beginning of December. When they arrived, Kim snapped over a plate of cookies being left out on the table because she had recently “gained 15 pounds.”

“Kim has been struggling privately behind the camera about her relationship,” Khloe Kardashian explained in a confessional. “It’s tough because Kim is clearly redirecting so much of her frustration and sadness and anger. Sometimes you take things out on something that has nothing to do with what you’re going through. Kim is dealing with so much right now and it’s tough because, before we left, her and Kanye had this big fight.”

The footage then flashed back to Kim hysterically crying while talking to her sisters about the blowout. “I just, like, honestly can’t do this anymore,” she said. “Why am I still in this place where I’m stuck for years? He goes and moves to a different state every year. I have to be, like, together so I can raise the kids.”

She praised Kanye for being an “amazing dad” and doing an “amazing job” with the kids, but was admittedly unable to put up with their different lifestyles anymore. “He deserves someone who can go support his every move and follow him all over the place and move to Wyoming [with him],” Kim explained, through tears. “I can’t do that. He should have a wife who supports his every move and travels with him and everything and I can’t do that.”

Kim also admitted that she felt like a “f***ing failure” for having thoughts about pulling the plug on her third marriage. “I feel like a f***ing loser,” she cried. “I can’t even think about that. I want to be happy.” Kim never specified what the big fight with Kanye was about, but by the Lake Tahoe trip, she revealed that they weren’t fighting anymore. “It’s all calm now, so I just roll with it,” she told Khloe.

However, the ups and downs were clearly getting to her. “There’s honestly nothing to talk about,” she said. “I won’t live with the fighting and stuff if it was constant.” By February, the fighting must have finally taken its toll on Kim, because she filed for divorce from Kanye after six and a half years together.

Kim has been extremely private about her divorce on this season of KUWTK. At the beginning of the season, she flew to Wyoming to see Kanye and deal with their issues off-camera. Things seemed to get better for a while, and he even appeared on the show while he helped Kim plan a massive birthday surprise for Kris Jenner during last week’s episode. Unfortunately, though, at the end of the day, they were not able to make it work.

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